Relationship Therapy

I am convinced that all healing is relational
What was broken in a relationship, heals in a relationship. For me personally, relationship work intersects very closely with all kinds of activist work that aim to replace our current social systems rooted in judgement and hierarchy by something gentler and more caring. By strengthening out relationships we are co-creating a better world, one connection at a time. 
Two people holding hands wrapped in a vibrant rainbow Pride flag.

Many of us did not have the privilege to grow up in emotionally mature environments, where safe adults would model for us how to hold our own and others’ feelings with loving kindness. Moreover, chronic minority stress often gives us emotional “sore spots” that can easily become activated in attachment-based relationships. As I see it, my role as a relationship therapist is to help clients better understand how their past (and present) relational experiences show up in their current connections, and also help create new ways of relating, that ring true to the lives they lead now.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy? 
 EFT is a structured, evidence-based kind of therapy based on attachment theory. EFT aims to strengthen the attachment bond between partners through a series of emotionally corrective experiences. During the therapy process you will identify the negative cycle within your relationship and the deeper feelings that underlie each partner’s emotional reactions. I will also regularly encourage you to turn to each other and practice speaking your heart, while your partner practices holding your emotional reality with gentle care. Finally, you will integrate the new positive cycle of trust and care into your everyday life. Studies into the effectiveness of EFT show that relationship satisfaction scores remain high long after the conclusion of therapeutic process. Last but not least, EFT lends itself very well to working from a social justice perspective, acknowledging sore spots and sensitivities that come from living with a marginalized identity. I am trained in EFT with a specific focus on LGBTQ+ relationships, and my approach is ENM- and polyamory-affirming.

Logistics

Relationship therapy sessions typically take place online and last between 70 and 75 minutes. Longer or shorter (prorated) sessions are available, if desired. My working hours are Monday to Friday 10:00 to 17:00 CET (Central European Time). My working languages are English and Russian.

Structure

A typical EFT trajectory is structured and has a clear beginning and an end. The duration of the trajectory is highly individual and depends on your unique situation. We will start with an intake, where we set the therapy goals collaboratively. After the intake we will have individual sessions, to dive deeper in each partner’s history. Throughout the process we will have regular check-ins and adjustments. If for whatever reason you wish to end the sessions before the end of the trajectory, I ask that you bring this up two sessions before the end of our work, to allow us to have a fitting and compassionate conclusion for the process. 

Please note that intake session are typically longer by half an hour but I offer them for the same price as regular sessions.

Before scheduling a call, please be sure to check out the section When Are We Not A Good Fit? on the FAQ page of this website, to ensure that there is nothing preventing us from working together.